Being Creative in an Angry World

So much has happened since that last blog post. I was shocked when I came on my site and saw the date. Right before that post I had lost the sister for whom the bride was drawn. I won't even touch the political climate - someone said recently we live in a world of constant outrage. That coupled with my personal life is an understatement.

I went into my studio today and let out a big sigh. There was evidence of an attempt to paint, half done pieces, some finished paintings stacked up against the bench. Paint and brushes, pens, papers, its all in there - but I am not. I started the process of reassembling the worktop. It was littered with things I had set there to file or work with "later" but in the past couple of years the time was never right. Since that blog post I last the last two of my sisters, surrogate grandparents, and a brother in law. Yes I am angry. But I have yet to figure out how to translate that anger and grief into something. My grief has translated into over zealous actions like taking a low paying job just to validate I still exist which I have since replaced with something more meaningful and true to my goals, needs and character. My grief has also manifested itself in terrible eating patterns, pains, aches and lots of ibuprofen. I HAVE continued my mediation practice which I think (along with my family) has kept me off the ledge.

It is Fall, which ironically means it is Samhain and its long association with death and the Dead reflects Nature's rhythms.

Vegetation dies back with killing frosts, and therefore, literally, death is in the air. This contributes to the ancient notion that at Samhain, the veil is thin between the world of the living and the realm of the Dead and this facilitates contact and communication. For those who have lost loved ones in the past year, Samhain rituals can be an opportunity to bring closure to grieving and to further adjust to their being in the Otherworld by spiritually communing with them.

So, today is the start, the start of letting go, the start of giving in, the start of getting back into my practice.